Satine Kryze Duchess of Mandalore
by Ameleia
Summary: A collection of one-shots surrounding Satine, and usually, Obi-Wan. Some are obviously AUs.
1. In Another Life

In Another Life

Have you ever let someone go and immediately regret that decision?

Do you ever think over what would've happened if you didn't let go? If you had asked him to stay, and if he had said /yes/. And if the Jedi and the Duchess had become simply a man and a woman in love. No titles, no responsibilities. Just the two of you, together forever, till death do you part.

Satine could see it in her head, what could've happened in another life. What if they had grown up as peasants, living in the same village? They could've been neighbors. And he would steal glances as she gathered wheat in the fields, and she would pretend she didn't see him looking. And when she went into town she'd always go when she knew he'd be there, just to argue with him of course. They'd get in such heated debates over things they had no say in. But they'd keep meeting up, going out of their way to see each other.

Or she could've grown up on the streets, her smart mouth getting her into trouble as she said things other people didn't agree with. And Obi-Wan could've just moved into town, arrogantly looking down his nose at the ruffians around him. And she would pick a fight with him, stubborn as she was, wanting to prove her intellect. And behind their anger, there'd be attraction.

Or she could've remained Duchess, and Obi-Wan could've been her most loyal guard. The one she trusted her life and heart with. The one who'd debate with her, stay up with her into the night to help her get her work done, be annoyingly overprotective. He'd be the only guard with the audacity to sass her and the only one with the ability to get away with it too.

Despite the truth, that Mandalore was too important for her to give up, that the Jedi Order was Obi-Wan's life, that the two of them were never /truly/ capable of being together...How fun it was to imagine what could've been, in another life.


	2. A Million Reasons

A Million Reasons

Satine had always tried to be a logical person. To consider her actions and choices carefully, determining what possible effects they could have on those around her. And that is what she was doing now. She had a notebook in front of her, split into two columns. One side, a list of pros, the second a list of cons. The title of the page: Should I Tell Obi-Wan?

She started with the pros.

-He deserves to know. It's his child.

-He should be able to experience the joy of knowing he helped create a life.

-He would be a wonderful father.

-He would be more likely to stay with me.

She paused at the last one. Was that a pro...or a con? Would knowing she was pregnant make him feel obligated to stay if he didn't want to? Or would it give him a solid excuse to be free of the responsibilities keeping him from her? She compromised with herself and wrote this one on both sides of the list. Then, she turned to the cons.

-He would be thrown out of the Jedi Order if anyone else knew.

-He would be forced to have a secret double life if he decided not to stay with her.

-He would probably feel guilty for not being around his child.

-He could become as attached to the child as he was to her, something the Jedi frowned upon.

-It was a scandal, all in all, even for myself.

-Obi-Wan already so much weight on his shoulders, did he really need the weight that comes from having a family?

-I don't want his child to be a burden to him.

Another pause. That one was written very personally, where she'd been trying to avoid talking about herself, trying to focus on how this would affect /Obi-Wan/. Because if she started thinking about /her/ feelings only, she'd not be able to think logically. Her own emotions were screaming that she had to tell him, should tell him, wanted to tell him, wanted to see his face light up in utter awe and surprise when she told him she was going to have a baby. She wanted to live with him, here on Mandalore (how selfish of her). She wanted to see him hold his child in his arms for the first time, to help the child learn to walk, to tickle his or her face with his beard. She wanted it /so/ badly.

But. That wasn't fair to him. It wasn't even possible. Asking Obi-Wan to give up the Jedi...Something that was his /life/, was not fair. And she knew he'd do it. Damn him and his determination to always do what was right, (the very thing that had made her first fall for him). He wouldn't leave her if he knew he'd gotten her pregnant. He'd stay, whether he truly wanted to or not, because it was his responsibility. And she couldn't' have that. Couldn't bear to see him throw all that training away. Sure he'd be happy, but there'd be times where those stormy eyes would glance off and he'd be longing, even just for a moment, for his old life. For his dreams, his goals, that he'd so often told her about. And she didn't want to take that away from him.

Satine could see the decision she was about to make, and already it hurt as if she'd been stabbed with a knife. Not telling Obi-Wan about his son or daughter felt /terrible/. /Horrible/. It made her place her hand on her stomach, a barely visible baby bump already. "'M sorry," she murmured, and when her eyes teared up she blamed it on the hormones. Why should she be upset? She was giving Obi-Wan his best chance at his life, she was letting him go guilt free. She was taking away the tremendous, terrible decision, to decide between two very dear things.

And still, Satine wasn't done making decisions. She now had to decide how to follow through with this, and how it would affect her child. Their child. As much as it pained her, (there are plenty of tears now, she can't even see her list), she couldn't raise her baby.

She couldn't go any further now, she just couldn't. The reality of the previous statement was too much for her, and no matter how she tried to control herself, painful, agonizing sobs tore themselves from her body. It wasn't long before a guard entered the room. He was one of her newer guards since she'd returned, nearly as young as she was, rather awkward and gangly, but genuinely concerned. He didn't seem to know what to do when he just saw that Satine was upset rather than in pain, and after a hesitant moment he knelt down and wrapped his arms around her waist right where she sat.

If Satine had been in full control of herself she probably would've scolded her guard on improper behavior, but in her current state she nearly fell into his arms, sobbing into his chest like a child. Satine didn't know how long she cried, but she knew that at some point the guard had picked up her list that had fallen to the floor and his eyes were so sympathetic that she didn't have the heart to be angry with him.

"Duchess..." He said, and when she finally looked up at him, he spoke again. "You don't have to do this alone. I can...I can assist."

Satine was hesitant, reluctant, but her guard slowly began to talk with her about each decision, without judgement, with honest eyes. He asked what she'd decided, and when she got him up to her current thoughts, he asked, "And who will raise the baby?" Her silence, crushed, hurt silence, made him hug her closer.

"Another family," Satine whispered, her heart breaking.

A long moment of silence, and when the guard spoke again, he was curiously optimistic, making Satine look up at him in mild confusion. "The child will resemble you somewhat I gather...Perhaps...though it is not possible for you to be his or her mother...you could be a family member? A cousin...an aunt?"

Satine thought it over, and slowly a broken but real smile found its way onto her lips, one which her guard returned. "What's your name?" She asked instead.

The guard simply smiled and said, "Erion."

"Well, Erion, we have much planning to do," Satine whispered, swiping at her eyes.

And so Obi-Wan never knew he had a son. He never even suspected. There had been so many times that Satine had wanted to tell him, and had almost told him. But there was one time she had been determined to tell him. As she lay dying in his arms, she opened her mouth to tell him that there was yet another Kenobi. But the look in his eyes, the sorrow, the heaviness of the entire galaxy, the problems of the universe, all rested in her Ben's eyes. And she just couldn't bring herself to add another weight to her burdened knight. So she simply told him another truth, one that she hoped would somehow encourage him to stay strong.

"Remember my dear Obi-Wan, I loved you always... I always will."


	3. Changing Fate Part 1

Changing Fate

"D-Don't l-listen to him, Obi-Wan," Satine had begged, even as she was gasping for air as an invisible hand constricted her windpipe. Her blurred, spotting vision as Maul tightened his Force grip still never wavered from Obi-Wan's face.

But Obi-Wan was devoid of witty remarks or sharp protests from Maul's torment. "I can feel your anger, your hatred," the demon from the past whispered, holding Satine's life in his hands so carelessly. "Use them," he had taunted, daring Obi-Wan and knowing he would refuse. That the perfect Jedi would sit and watch and would lose /everything/. "Use them~" He nearly sang.

And Obi-Wan did.

Something had snapped. Obi-Wan wasn't sure of hardly anything, but he knew one thing for sure: He would /not/ lose another person he loved. This anger, this hatred welled up inside of him and he used it. Strongly, and perhaps clumsily, but with a single, low growl, his emotions had exploded into power, shoving the men restraining him into the opposite wall hard enough to probably kill them, or at least break something. A flick of his wrist saw his lightsaber back in his hand and pointed at Maul.

Maul's initial surprise in watching these events had turned to complete and utter amusement, shown by how he let out quite a cruel, loud laugh. "Wonderful, Kenobi. I've won."

When Obi-Wan spoke next he didn't even recognize his own voice, it was so angry, so…dark. "Let. Her. Go."

And when Maul said, 'Make me,' Obi-Wan did.

The thrill of emotions, especially that of hatred, was so consuming and overwhelming. Obi-Wan took great pleasure in finally, completely, destroying the devil that had taken so much from him. He waited, watched the light leave the thing's eyes, before pulling his saber from his chest, and glancing around the room, panting and disoriented. Golden eyes, flickering about the room, tense, ready to strike, he was but a wild animal.

Satine had watched the fight in horror, having finally gained her breath back when Obi-Wan engaged Maul in the fight. She'd seen the difference in him, the pure hatred and anger. And though she understood in a way, she also knew he shouldn't be acting on those emotions. The Jedi, as much as she had argued the point with him, were about peace. Though they fought enemies, they did not indulge themselves in such hatred, such anger. She hadn't been able to call out to him, her voice was much too scratchy and raw at first. But she'd wanted him to stop, to /think/ a moment about what he was doing.

And now, watching him kill with such /pleasure/…It scared her. She was trembling watching him stand there and look around. It took a long while for her to gather the courage to even try to speak. But a moment before she did, one of the men Obi-Wan had thrown off of him shifted near the wall, groaning. And before Satine could even take a breath, Obi-Wan had stabbed him through, the cry of pain emanating from the man alarming to Satine.

"Obi-Wan, stop!" She managed to yell out, even if her voice was scratchy. Though of course her plea was too late, Obi-Wan still looked over at her, and for one dreadful moment, Satine thought he meant to kill her too.

But his whole personage softened, his voice became much more gentle as he moved over to her quickly. "Satine…" He knelt in front of her, placing his hands on her cheeks, staring into her eyes.

His hands were cold, and his eyes were…gold. Not the beautiful blue she'd grown to love, not the stormy grey she'd often seen, not the green they'd been right before he kissed her for the first time. Gold. Beautiful, but so wrong. "W-What's happened to you?" she whispered, her own eyes wide in horror.

His gaze drifted to the side for a moment, as if thinking of her words and wondering himself what had occurred. He only brought his eyes back to her when he had seemingly registered and understood his actions. "I…did what needed to be done, Satine. For you." He slowly wiped at her cheeks, they were so wet with tears. "I saved you," he whispered, and there was an overwhelming relief in his voice, one that brought a hint of tears to his own eyes right before he pressed his lips desperately to hers.

Initially, she was shocked by such an action, and eagerly embraced it; it had been so long since the two of them had shared a kiss. But she forced herself to keep the kiss short, both for her own sanity and for her lungs that still felt devoid of as much air as she needed. "I saved you, I saved you," He kept murmuring, pressing her into a firm hug, one of his hands petting her mussed blond hair slowly.

Satine had finally shaken her head, pulling back just enough to be able to look at him, still letting him grip her arms so firmly. "But at what cost, Obi-Wan? You've lost yourself…" She whispered, her own sorrow bringing fresh tears to her eyes. And Obi-Wan watched her in confusion, tilting his head to the side like a wild animal.

"No, no, I've found myself," he insisted, and he grinned at her, one that made a feeling of dread build up in her stomach. As his excitement grew, so did Satine's sorrow. What had she done to him? "And we can be together, like we always wanted," he had murmured, going in for another kiss, but she quickly turned her head to the side.

"No! No, we c-can't….I love you, but, but what about the Jedi, your place is there, and mine…mine is among my people." She reluctantly told him, reminding him of the very conversation they had had in their youth that had ended with the decision of going their separate ways.

But Obi-Wan remembered the arguments, the conversations, and firmly shook his head, looking almost angry. "No, Satine. I see so clearly now, my place is beside /you/. It always has been. The Jedi…The Jedi blinded me. I'll not let them control me, I'll not let them, or anyone else for that matter, separate me from you." There was a firmness in his voice that told her anyone who tried to separate them would meet the same fate as the dead men around them. "No one will harm you ever again," he promised her.

And as he kissed her again, firmly, Satine had a very bad feeling about this turn of events.


	4. Changing Fate Part 2

Changing Fate Part 2

"Satine, don't be like that…" Obi-Wan, following Satine down the hallway, a frown on his face.

"I thought I told you I don't wish to speak with you, or look at you." Satine, nearly hissing with anger, practically bolting through the house to avoid him.

"Looks like your sleeping on the couch tonight," Anakin, who always had incredible timing, called out, strolling down the hallway with a teasing grin in place. He seemed unaffected by the ice cold glares he received from both Obi-Wan and Satine.

"You two /sicken/ me, the way you can just strut around killing people left and right for your own personal gains," Satine had paused long enough to say, but long enough for Obi-Wan to grab her hand. Anakin looked utterly amused from the apparent insult from Satine.

"Satine, listen to me, in order for the galaxy to thrive the way you want it, in an apparently peaceful way, it must be controlled—"

"This is not the way—"

"Okay, okay, chill out Satine. After all, he's doing all this for you," Anakin interrupted, crossing his arms

Satine turned her icy glare to Anakin, shaking her head. "That line may have worked on your on your dearest Padme, but it's not going to work on me, got it? I can't delude myself, I can't justify this like she can just because she's so in love."

Anakin, offended, moves towards her with his eyes burning gold. "Don't you /dare/ speak like that—" Obi-Wan places a hand on Anakin's chest, calming him enough to keep him back. A soft, 'That's enough, Anakin,' and the younger man deflates, moving off quickly to leave the two to their fight without him.

"Satine—" Obi-Wan says more softly than before, reaching out for her. "Don't you love me?"

She doesn't accept his hand, turns half away. "Of course I do," she says firmly, but she's so upset. "But it's clear to me that you don't love me."

"/Satine/!" Obi-Wan looks offended and hurt at the very idea, and her gaze finally meets his but it's much too serious and oh, she's near tears.

"If you really loved me Obi-Wan, you would've let me die."

Those words cut through both of them like a knife. The devastation, hurt, confusion, on Obi-Wan's face was torture to watch. "S-s-satine, you don't mean that…I /saved/ you because I /l-love/ you." He grabbed her by the upper arms, looking in her eyes for any sign that she wasn't telling the truth.

"No…" She tried to look away, but he turned her cheek gently, desperately, searching for answers. Reluctantly she looked right at him, and oh did it hurt. "I love you because you always did the right thing," she whispered. "Or, what you thought was the right thing. And you /know/, saving me, in that way…That was /wrong/."

Her gaze was almost apologetic, and she even brought her own hand up to wipe away a tear on his cheek. She nearly started bawling when he leaned into her hand with such a yearning and whispered, "But I…I couldn't lose someone else I loved."

Satine was silent, but her actions spoke for her as she carefully stepped back, out of his reach, and walked away. And Obi-Wan heard the unspoken message. Even if he'd saved Satine then, he'd still lost her in the end.


End file.
